Relational Therapy

Whether you are a couple, co-parents, friends, or family; healing wounds, or seeking support as you grow together or apart; you are in therapy because you know your lives are intertwined in some way, and this interdependence matters (even when it’s coming to an end).

In relational therapy, I utilize an emotionally-focused and Socio-Emotional Relational therapeutic approach, combined with internal family systems language. I am always considering the core attachment needs and influence of social power structures that we carry in this lifetime, how those show up in our interactions with others, and the ways in which we are complex beings with multiple, and sometimes contradictory feelings, thoughts, and needs.

Pre-Marital / Pre-Commitment Therapy

Pre-marital or pre-commitment therapy is for couples entering new vows of commitment to each other, in need of intentionally re-shaping your relationship to fit shared goals and values for now and the future. We’ll discuss important themes, values, decisions, and goals, developing expectations and commitments that feel authentic for both of you, and that can serve as a guiding light when things go off course. We’ll map out the common patterns and pitfalls you can fall into together and offer lasting tools to navigate difficulty and conflict for a long time to come. We’ll deepen your understanding of yourself, your past, your tendencies and wounds, as well as your partners so you can be better prepared to support one another with compassion, avoiding sticky patterns. Come to therapy before it’s your “last chance,” and establish a foundation of rituals and habits that foster your connection, trust, and growth together. It’s a lot of fun!

Discernment Counseling

Sometimes it’s not so clear whether it’s time for a relationship to end, or if you can come together to make changes to have the kind of relationship you want. Maybe one person is on the fence, and another is really to re-commit. When ready to face the possibility of divorce, discernment counseling can be a great place to start. Discernment counseling is a structured process that helps couples on the brink of divorce gain clarity on how they want to proceed. We’ll go through a series of sessions with concrete goals for determining what you want and what you are willing to change, as individuals and as a couple. You’ll leave the short-term process having decided whether to:

1. remain in ambiguity and status quo for a little while longer.

2. commit to the relationship by engaging in couples therapy for an agreed upon period of time

3. separation/divorce.

Sometimes the best way off the fence is a gentle push, and no matter where you land, I am there to support you further with couples therapy or development of short-term goals and planning in the case of separation or divorce.

Conscious Uncoupling

If its time for a relationship to come to an end, and you would like to do so in a respectful and loving way, I applaud you. There are many reasons to want to do this; maybe you have children together, will stay in each others lives, run a business, or just want to honor your history and everything you’ve learned from each other. This kind of work can look more like mediation, with clear goals to set up parenting plans, housing situations, etc, and it can also look like grief work, repair work, and developing a shared story of how things ended. Sometimes couples come to therapy with the intention of repairing, and realize the relationship no longer serves them both, coming to this decision in a compassionate and vulnerable way, and able to part as amicably as possible despite grief and hurt; I find this supporting this process so meaningful, and is the work I am most proud of as a therapist.

Regular ol’ Couple’s Therapy

As much as it sounds like I only want you in my office if you’re getting married or breaking up, I actually love working with couples who are just need a weekly time to pivot, re-connect, and sort out conflict in new ways, so you can actually be together. We’ll use EFT to create new emotional experiences that reinforce your secure attachment to one another; We’ll practice self-regulation to prevent mutual harm to your bond when in conflict; and develop new communication skills so you can be vulnerable and feel understood, even in conflict. It’ll be difficult, fun, and worth it!

Family Therapy

Family therapy takes many forms and can support all kinds of transitions; reconciliation, loss, blending a family, processing the impact of divorce, and more. If you’re a parent, family therapy can accompany couples therapy, discernment therapy, conscious uncoupling, and pre-commitment therapy to support the youngest and most vulnerable members of your family who may be experiencing difficulty and loss in their own way. It’s an opportunity for deep listening, emotional connection, and making sure everyone is okay as they can be as things change.

Intensives

Let's speed things up a bit. In a weekend intensive, we meet for a concentrated number of hours for focused relational therapy on a Saturday or Sunday, so we can really dig into the relational issues that need to be addressed. This is perfect for people who have clarity about what they would like to change, or know that a difficult decision or topic needs to be addressed imminently. Throughout the day, we outline the issue at hand, come to a mutual understanding of what maintains the issue, identify what and how to change, and implement changes that can be repeated outside of therapy. The goal is to accomplish in one day what would otherwise take weeks, leaving you with new insight and a plan for sustainable change. Cash pay only, see hourly relational therapy rate below.

Individual Therapy

No matter what difficulty or un-expected turn in your life and relationships has brought you to individual therapy, my goal is to build an authentic, trusting relationship that facilitates you finding authentic connection to yourself and others, owning your capacity for choice in the face of limiting circumstances, and finding meaning. I believe the deepest heartbreaks in our lives open us up to the deepest connections and sense of being human.

As a marriage and family therapist, I bring a systemic lens to individual therapy, attuning to the systems of power that impact your life, the relationships that surround you, and how your past experiences make their way into the present moment and shape the future.

With an existential-humanistic lens, I map for the tensions and contradictions that you hold, your willingness to face what is true, and your belief systems, to support you in making meaningful, authentic choices in the face of suffering and uncertainty.

I draw on Internal Family Systems in order to access the parts of yourself with different wants and needs; who have been hurt and made to protect. My goal is to safety in order to connect to the parts of you that are scared, angry, entirely disconnected, joyful, etc, creating cohesion and self-trust.